Dialectical Behavior Therapy Is A Second Wave Therapy

Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a Third Wave Therapy created by Marsha Linehan in the 1970’s. It comes from a Cognitive Behavioral perspective. In High School she wanted to become a psychiatrist and work with the most mentally disturbed patients. She realized, however, that there weren’t a lot of effective treatments for these patients. She then decided to earn a PhD in experiential personality psychology (Prochaska Norcross 2014 p. ). Linehan wanted to work with the most difficult patients, but she realized often they were not willing to participate. She theorized that comprehensive psychotherapy should meet the following five vital functions: â€Å"1. Enhance and maintain the client’s motivation to change 2. Enhance the client’s capabilities 3. Ensure that the client’s new capabilities are generalized to all relevant environments 4. Enhance the therapist’s motivation to treat clients while also enhancing the therapist’s capabilities 5. Structure the environment so that treatment can take place (What is DBT? 2016).† In an effort to fulfill these requirements, she created a dialectic therapy. â€Å"The term ‘dialectical’ means a synthesis or integration of opposites. The primary dialectic within DBT is between the seemingly opposite strategies of acceptance and change† (What is DBT? 2016). Acceptance borrows from Carl Roger’s unconditional positive regard. DBT helps patients cope with powerful, overwhelming emotions when working to change habits or putting themselves in newShow MoreRelatedThe First Wave Of Psychological Therapy1386 Words   |  6 PagesThe first wave of psychological therapy focused on the clinical application of behavior principles. The second wave introduced cognition into therapy and linked the idea of irrational thoughts to behavioral issues (Hayes, Follette, Linehan, 2004). The third wave is the most current theory which focuses on traditional cognitive-behavioral concepts with the addition of mindfulness techniques and the acceptance of thoughts (Hayes, Masuda, Bissett, Luoma, Guererro, 2004). This third wave of cognitive-behavioralRead MoreBehavioral Therapy ( Bt ) And Cognitive Therapy1903 Words   |  8 PagesBehavioral Therapy (BT) and Cognitive Therapy (CT) are two of the most common therapies used my psychologists/therapists today. In this paper I will be discussing how BT and CT approach the many aspects of the therapeutic process, including, but not limited to, the focus of the therapy and how the therapist approaches a client’s problems. As a conclusion, I will be comparing the overall beliefs and practices of cognitive and behavioral therapies. What is Behavioral Therapy? Before I dive into whatRead MoreBehavior Therapy: Basic Concepts, Assessment Methods, and Applications.2912 Words   |  12 PagesBehavior Therapy: Basic Concepts, Assessment Methods, and Applications. Different kinds of psychotherapies have existed throughout history, and have always been rooted in philosophical views of human nature (Wachtel P., 1997). Specifically, behavior therapy intents to help individuals overcome difficulties in nearly any aspect of human experience (Thorpe G. Olson S., 1990). The techniques of behavior therapy have been applied to education, the workplace, consumer activities, and even sportsRead Moreâ€Å"How Can Modern Behavioural Therapies Help a Client Accept Uncertainty About Their Future?†3066 Words   |  13 PagesAbstract: â€Å"How can modern behavioural therapies help a client accept uncertainty about their future?† Introduction: I will demonstrate a good knowledge and understanding focusing on REBT and CT, combining them to produce a fluid response to answer the question. Background: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a generic umbrella term for a category of therapy approach that focus on the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and actions. There are many different types ofRead Morewisdom,humor and faith19596 Words   |  79 Pagesconception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly.† Conversely, Solomon thinks that in viewing folly (for example, that of the Three Stooges comedies) we can see our own tendency to unwise behavior and that it can help us become more modest and compassionate—both important steps to becoming wiser. The encyclopedia essay also indicates that some thinkers view humor as a form of play and that humor has â€Å"until recently has been treated as roughly

The Harlem Renaissance and Its Effect on African American...

The Harlem Renaissance and its Effect on African American Literature Thesis: The literary movement during the Harlem Renaissance was a raging fire that brought about new life for the African American writer; its flame still burns today through the writings of contemporary African American writers. I. The Harlem Renaissance- Its Beginning and Development II. The Major Writers A. Claude McKay B. Jean Toomer C. Countee Cullen D. Langston Hughes E. Zora Neale Hurston III. Major Themes of Writing during the Harlem Renaissance A. The effort to recapture the African American past and African Heritage B. Life in Harlem C. Racism IV. The Harlem Renaissance – The Era Comes to a Close V. The Influence†¦show more content†¦Diversity flourished in the performing arts as well as in music, literature, and art. â€Å"By the time the novels, poetry, and dramas of the Harlem Renaissance were being recognized, African American music had already gained fame worldwide. Jazz and blues provided the background, the spirit, and the style for the achievements of the period’s literary and visual artists† (Howes 81). In every movement there are those who are called front runners or foundation layers. These individuals pave the way for others to follow and so it was with the Halrem Renaissance. â€Å"Contrary to popular belief, the Harlem Renaissance did not emerge out of a literary and cultural wasteland† (Brown pg 9). The writers of the Renaissance dealt with African American life from a African American perspective. The first important writer of the Renaissance was Claude McKay (1889-1948), who was born in Jamaica and came to the United S tates in 1912. McKay is best remembered for his poems treating racial themes. â€Å"His novel Home to Harlem became the first best seller by an African American author and he received the Harmon Foundation’s gold medal for literature (Howes 48). â€Å"Jean Toomer (1894-1967) was the second most important writer of the Renaissance and one of the most gifted in modern American letters† (Whitlow 80). After a visit to Georgia in 1921, Toomer wrote his most masterful work entitled Cane. Cane is Jean Toomers acclaimed exploration of theShow MoreRelatedExploring African American History : The Harlem Renaissance1521 Words   |  7 PagesTi’Anna Smith Period 1 AP World History 12-14-15 Exploring African American History: The Harlem Renaissance The Harlem Renaissance originally known as the New Negro Movement was an important part of African American culture and history, which helped African Americans express themselves and celebrate their heritage. Between the years of 1890-1920 close to two million African Americans traveled from the rural southern states to the northern cities. They traveled to these northern cities in hopesRead MoreThe Harlem Renaissance850 Words   |  4 PagesPeriod 4 Word Count: 693 Harlem Renaissance The Harlem Renaissance was the first period in the history of the United States in which a group of black poets, authors, and essayist seized the opportunity to express themselves. The Great Migration was the movement of six million African Americans from the rural South to the cities of the North during 1916 to 1970. Driven from their homes by unsatisfactory economic opportunities and harsh segregationist laws, many African Americans headed north in searchRead MoreThe Harlem Renaissance : A Literary, Artistic, Cultural And Intellectual Movement1485 Words   |  6 PagesTatiana Moore Mrs. Donald English III 26 March 2014 The Harlem Renaissance The Harlem Renaissance was a literary, artistic, cultural and intellectual movement. The word renaissance means rebirth or revival. African Americans during this time were being pressured by Jim Crow Laws in the South. These laws separated the races tremendously (Roses). African Americans appeared ignorant, poor, and servile. Hate groups and hate crimes alarmed families, and they collectively decided it was time to make aRead MoreThe Harlem Renaissance1317 Words   |  6 Pagesneeded to be stressed was the freedom of African Americans. For so long they were slaves and treated extremely poorly. Eventually, they became free people. However, they were still not viewed as equal. It took many years to move even one step in the right direction. A specific movement did help the African America appear independent and equal. One of the most influential movements and still occurring to this day is the Harlem Renaissance. The Harlem Renaissance is the cultural movement of the 1920’sRe ad MoreThe Harlem Renaissance941 Words   |  4 PagesThe Harlem Renaissance was a cultural movement, in the early 1920’s, that involved vibrancies of new life, ideas, and perceptions. The large migration of African Americans northward, after World War I, allowed people of color the opportunity to collaborate in the New York City neighborhood, known as Harlem. This renaissance allowed the city to thrive on a refined understanding and appreciation of the arts. Many individuals were involved in this movement including doctors, students, shopkeepers,Read MoreClaude Mckay s Harlem Dancer And Ended Around 1929 Essay1535 Words   |  7 PagesThe Harlem Renaissance began in 1918 with the publication of Claude McKay’s â€Å"Harlem Dancer† and ended around 1929. During this period, there was a wave of literary works by, and about, Blacks. The Harlem Renaissance was a period of great intellectual expression as well as introspection (Bodenner). There were several key mo ments and individuals that made this era of time historical. African American artists rejected imitating the ideals of white Americans and championed black artistic expression onRead MoreThe Harlem Renaissance1154 Words   |  5 PagesIV AP 16 November 2015 The Harlem Renaissance The early 1900s was a time marked with tragedy in America. Started and ended with the Great Depression in between, it was not America s finest moment. Prohibition was in place, the Klu Klux Klan was still marching, and the Lost Generation was leaving for Paris. But despite the troubling times, people still found beauty and meaning in the world around them. They still created art and celebrated life. The Harlem Renaissance was an artistic and literaryRead MoreEssay about The Harlem Renaissance1582 Words   |  7 Pages1930’s, the Harlem Renaissance was an important movement for African-Americans all across America. This movement allowed the black culture to be heard and accepted by white citizens. The movement was expressed through art, music, and literature. These things were also the most known, and remembered things of the renaissance. Also this movement, because of some very strong, moving and inspiring people changed political views for African-Americans. Compared to bef ore, The Harlem Renaissance had majorRead MoreThe Negative Impacts of the Harlem Renaissance1169 Words   |  5 Pagesthe idea of the Harlem Renaissance was born. The ideology behind the Harlem Renaissance was to create the image of the New Negro. The image of African-Americans changed from rural, uneducated peasants to urban, sophisticated, cosmopolites. Literature and poetry abounded. Jazz music and the clubs where it was performed at became social hotspots. Harlem was the epitome of the New Negro. However, things werent as sunny as they appeared. Many felt that the Harlem Renaissance itself wasnt soRead MoreThe Harlem Renaissance and Its Effect on the American Dream1541 Words   |  6 PagesThe Harlem Renaissance and its Effect on the American Dream What was the Harlem Renaissance? The Harlem Renaissance was a period of time in American history that emphasized African American culture in the form of music, art, and poetry. The Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s was plagued by poverty and racial inequality. African Americans held the dream of upward mobility and racial equality, through mediums such as poetry and jazz: a new form of music originating from the African American community

The Pentathlon - The Ancient Events Versus The Present Essay

The History of the pentathlon The history of the pentathlon stems from the complete physical training of the Greeks. The pentathlete was the product of training in five events, unlike those athletes who were trained in specialized areas. It began as an athletic competition to determine the best all-around athlete. The pentathlon was introduced into the Olympic Games around 708 B.C. Each pentathlete was superior in strength and activity, which was the ideal physical beauty. The ideal pentathlete should be tall, well built, long legs, flexible hips, and preferably with long hands and fingers. In the ancient pentathlon, not only were women excluded from participating in the events, but they were also not allowed to†¦show more content†¦The military adopted this sport as a part of final examinations at a number military academies. The afternoon of the second day was devoted to the pentathlon. All events were held in the Stadium, with the probable exception of wrestling. From late in the 6th century B.C., all contestants were naked and barefoot as they competed. The number of entrants was small and it was not uncommon for some to drop out while others were eliminated in contest. Victory was not calculated by points. If anyone was first in three events, he was proclaimed the winner. If this did not occur, the field was slowly reduced until the wrestling event, where the only competitors were those who had placed where in the earlier events and therefore had a chance to win. In the modern day Olympics, this pentathlon is open only to men. There are pentathlons open for women at the world level, but not in the Olympics. There are many other pentathlons besides this one, such as the track and field pentathlon. Ancient Events The Jumping Event The jump, or halma, was an event in the ancient pentathlon, that could be called a long jump. It was regarded as a very strenuous exercise and as the most typical event of the pentathlon. This event was derived from warfare practices, because the terrain in Greece was made of streams and ditches. The athletes used halteres, or jumping weights. The

The American Revolution And The Revolution - 2111 Words

The American Revolution, think you know everything about? You don’t, as much as the soldiers that fought had a lot of courage, it was the members of the Culper spy Ring that had the most to do with the victory the Americans had over the British, in the American Revolution. It was ordinary citizens that saved the revolution and don’t get credit for it. Espionage, intelligence was the key to winning the revolution. With the help of spies, invisible ink, misinformation, codes, ordinary citizens, including women, and lots of courage the members of the Culper Spy Ring saved the revolution and helped the founding of America. George Washington, the man that couldn’t tell a lie, was the American Revolution’s spymaster. Washington was able to bend†¦show more content†¦George Washington asked, James Jay, the brother of John Jay, was learning chemistry in England, who had created a chemical solution out of tannic acid to be used as an invisible ink, it was unknown to most. An advantage because it would ve been unknown to the British officers if the contrecepted some correspondence. It was difficult to make and George Washington himself instructed his agents in the use of what was referred to as the sympathetic stain, noting that the ink will not only render. . .communications less exposed to detection, but relieve the fears of such persons as may be entrusted in its conveyance. Washington recommended the spies to use the ink, on the blank leaves of a pamphlet. . . a common pocket book, or on the blank leaves at each end of registers, almanacks, or any publication or book of small value. † Another, more common way to use invisible ink in letter, was to write between the lines and the receiver would use heat in order to read the letter, but with the new ink you would need another chemical solution to see the message. While Washington is known for his honesty, he was okay with spreading misinformation, when it came to fighting the revolution. He told the members of the Culper Ring to exaggerate the fire power and size of American forces, in their conversations with the loyalists of New York. Washington would get his hands dirty too,

Culturally Poetic Free Essays

Culturally Poetic Cultural identity is the collective personality of a people usually associated with a certain group or culture, or that of an individual in relation to certain behavior, thoughts, and influences. (Central Michigan University) These beliefs and shared characteristics allow a group to establish a common ground and in turn make them unique to others. A cultural identity may be national, ethnic, or even generational. We will write a custom essay sample on Culturally Poetic or any similar topic only for you Order Now Our identity is based upon our differences when compared to other groups. Cultural identity is essentially defined by differences rather than likenesses to others. The identifiable aspects of culture are historical, linguistic, and mental. These three factors may also be found in poetry and are related to the views that an author wishes to express. In my essay, I will seek to identify elements of culture in the following poems: â€Å"Bully†, â€Å"What it’s Like to Be a Black Girl†, â€Å"Self-Pity’s Closet†, â€Å"Rite of Passage†, and â€Å"The Panther†, In Martin Espada’s poem, â€Å"Bully† cultural identity is evident throughout the length of the poem. The poem is introduced by way of location, the time period, and the year, â€Å"In the school auditorium / the Theodore Roosevelt statue / is nostalgic for the Spanish American War† (713). The poet themes seemingly focus on change within American society. This theme is noticeably identifiable in the following stanza: But now the Roosevelt school is pronounced Hernandez. Puerto Rico has invaded Roosevelt with its army of Spanish-singing children in the hallways, brown children devouring the stockpiles of the cafeteria, children painting Taino ancestors that leap naked across murals. 714) Espada effectively provides contrast between Roosevelt’s belief of ethnocentrism and the invasion of the Spanish colonies by comparing the immigration of Puerto Rican families in a 1987 Boston, Massachusetts. At the poem’s ending we are able to envision a revenge of sorts with the children now invading Roosevelt himself. The following stanza is irony at its best and brings the ele ment of culture and change to the forefront, Roosevelt is surrounded by all the faces he ever shoved in eugenic spite and cursed as mongrels, skin of one race, hair and cheekbones of another. (714) This bit of irony is representative of the fact that change once experienced on the island of Puerto Rico now too is prevalent within America. Roosevelt is declared the â€Å"bully† by his conquest and those that were once without power are now empowered through change and assimilation. This poem uses historical factors to establish a cultural identity. Patricia Smith’s, â€Å"What it’s Like to Be a Black Girl† (for Those of You Who Aren’t) approaches the idea of a black girl becoming a woman at a time when race matters were still prevalent. The author begins with a direct but conversation like tone to denote the importance of what is being imparted: First of all, it’s being 9 years old and/ feeling like you’re not finished, like your edges are wild, like there’s something, everything, wrong†¦(672) The theme here is puberty based changes that takes place according to a â€Å"black girl. † The girl feels incomplete because her body is experiencing changes. Smith goes on to describe the girl’s desire to fit into society by wanting to have the physical traits of a white woman. The young girl is displeased with being black and seeks to change her appearance: †¦it’s dropping food coloring In your eyes to make them blue and suffering Their burn in silence. It’s popping a bleached White mophead over the kinks of your hair and primping in front of the mirrors that deny your reflection†¦(672) She goes on to describe the Black Power Movement and the Motown era by mentioning â€Å"it’s flame and fists and life according to Motown. † As a blossoming young girl approaching womanhood she finds it not only difficult to become a woman, but a black woman. Finally, the girl looks forward to every woman’s dream of becoming a bride. This is evidenced in the final three lines: â€Å"it’s finally having a man reach out for you/then caving in/around his fingers. The girl anticipates a completed transition when she will become married. This poem uses mental aspects to form cultural identity during a time or racial tension. Michelle Boisseau’s, â€Å"Self-Pity’s Closet† focuses on the way that society views beauty, self-image, and self-confidence. Boisseau uses figurative speech, imagery, and perceived sounds throughout the poem to bring light to a poor self image. The theme of this poem is equated to as the poem states self-pity. What seemingly appears as others judging us blinds us to the fact that we judge ourselves far worse than others would. The closet so to speak is within the individual feelings of: â€Å"Depression, loneliness, anger, shame, envy† (999) are the basis of self-pity. Feelings of self-loathing and self-hurt are evident in the following lines: after your vast and painful declarations subtle humiliations creeping up like the smell of wet upholstery, dial tone in the brain, the conviction that your friends never really loved you†¦(1000) The author seeks to express an inner fight a person struggles with when worried about the way others perceive them. The narrator uses the words, â€Å"dial tone in the brain† to describe a continuous mode of embarrassment within herself. She is unable to part with a feeling of inadequacy and is therefore trapped by her very own self pity. This poem uses mental aspects by associating self-pity with not being able to identify with the status quo of our cultural identity. In Sharon Olds’s, â€Å"Rite of Passage† a mother examines the behavior of her son and his friend during his birthday party. The title of the poem allows the reader to relate the â€Å"rite of passage† being the journey that her son will take toward manhood. Male maturity is the theme of the poem. What makes the poem ironic is her ability to view them as men though they are but six and seven years old. The following lines are quite imaginable to any mother noticing the machismo nature of young boys: As the guests arrive at my son’s party they gather in the living room— short men, men in first grade with smooth jaws and chins. Hands in pockets, they stand around jostling, jockeying for place, small fights breaking out and calming. One says to another How old are you? Six. I’m seven. So? (811) In the last line we experience a typical conversation between two boys that are likely â€Å"sizing† each other up; the six year old responds to the seven year old â€Å"So? The mother then goes onto visualizing the boys as men with careers by stating, â€Å"They clear their/throats a lot, a room of small bankers/they fold their arms and frown†¦Ã¢â‚¬  One cannot help but to envision the boys as men at a table matching wits at an older age. The birthday boy as if chairman of the bank settles the dispute between his friends in the following lines: â€Å"speaks up as a host/for the sake of the group. /We could easily kill a two-year old,/he says in his clear voice. † The group agrees and the children return to playing or as the mother describes, â€Å"†¦they relax and get down to playing war, celebrating my son’s life. Just as Smith’s â€Å"What it’s Like to Be a Black Girl† focused on a girl approaching maturity so did Olds’ â€Å"Rite of Passage. † Olds uses mature language and terms to equate the behavior expressed by the boys as being their way of coming into manhood. The boys feel a need to intimidate each other with physical threats which showcases their immaturity on their way to adulthood. This poem identifies with the culturally defined behavior of a male having to prove he is a â€Å"man. † In Rainier Rilke’s poem â€Å"The Panther† the poet uses the panther a wild animal to express personification and similes to express confinement. An obvious reason for the panther being the subject is because its color represents a seemingly dark nature and contributes to the poem’s tone. A panther is also known to be a solitary creature that stakes out its prey. The use of the panther represents a theme of entrapment that most readers are able to identify with. The panther’s discontentment and longing to be free from his troubles is expressed as the cage’s bars. He has become so accustomed to seeing the bars that he no longer sees anything but what appears directly in front of him it is as if he has lost himself. The panther’s desperation in a sense mirrors human personality. Rilke’s offers her interpretation of this poetically by saying, His vision, from the constantly passing bars, has grown so weary that it cannot hold anything else. It seems to him there are a thousand bars and behind the bars, no world. (674) Rilke’s makes us aware that although the panther is confined we are still able to see its power and its beauty. Though caged he is still himself though he feels â€Å"paralyzed† by the cage; this feeling is interpreted in the following lines, â€Å"As he paces in cramped circles, over and over/the movement of his powerful soft strides/is like a ritual dance around a center/in which a mighty will stands paralyzed. The idea of confinement is relatable to a prisoner or anyone trapped in a situation with seemingly no way out. The panther yearns for more and this is evidenced by his pacing and boredom with his life. In the end the panther has lost his soul and his excitement is reduced to the opening of his eyes ever so slightly . It seems that the panther takes his final glance that touches him inwardly to the point his body becomes tense and his heart is excited for a split second until he realizes his situation and no longer bothers to react. This idea is well expressed in the final stanza. Only at times, the curtain of the pupils lifts, quietly—. An image enters in, rushes down through the tensed, arrested muscles, plunges into the heart and is gone. Rilke in â€Å"The Panther† and Boisseau in her â€Å"Self-Pity’s Closet† both convey the message of an inner struggle within their subjects. The poems are able to speak to the reader on a personal level and make the connection of human emotion with their dark but personal nature. â€Å"The Panther† embodied a feeling of weariness and surrender that human often time encounter in not one but within all societies and cultures. Often times we find ourselves staying within the box or the status quo instead of stepping outside of the box-in this case the cage. In comparison, the five poems that I have chosen to review are full of impact and take on a deeper meaning. They touch on outward appearances as well as inner feelings. They were all able to bring out identifiable aspects that we are all able to connect with through either personal or secondary experiences. In contrast, â€Å"Bully† came from a historical standpoint, while â€Å"What it’s Like to Be a Black Girl† and â€Å"Rite of Passage† focused on what is accepted by society. Lastly, â€Å"Self-Pity’s Closet† and â€Å"The Panther† dealt with inner struggles and the way that we tend to view ourselves when we take an inner look. Works Cited Central Michigan University. Cultural Identity as an Instrument. 8 May 2006. 3 November 2009 http://www. reslife. cmich. edu/rama/index. php? section=Diversitycategory=Cultural_Identity. Boisseau, Michelle. â€Å"Self Pity’s Closet. † Mayer, Michael. The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature. Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2009. 999-1000. Espada, Martin. â€Å"Bully. Mayer, Michael. The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature. Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2009. 713-714. Olds, Sharon. â€Å"Rite of Passage. † Mayer, Michael. The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature. Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2009. 811-812. Rilke, Rainier Maria. â€Å"The Panther. † Mayer, Michael. The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature. Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2009. 674. Smith, Patricia. â€Å"What It’s Like to Be a Black Girl. † Mayer, Michael. The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature. Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2009. 672-73 How to cite Culturally Poetic, Papers

To Live, To Die free essay sample

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, or risk that you have taken and its impact on you. I was going to die. Lying soundly in my bed, I was pretty sure that this wasnt a thought that often came into a typical persons head when they were trying to get some sleep. Then again, though, I wasnt a typical person, so maybe that had something to do with it. I could feel the pills working their way into my system. My blood felt sluggish and slow. They were slowly poisoning me, the pills, and I was beginning to feel the effects. My eyelashes fluttered as a feeling of wooziness flushed over me. I knew I had to savor every last moment, but it was hard to focus on anything, my eyes seemingly dilated by the drugs. I tried to ignore the emotions that were swirling around me. Faces of loved ones appeared in my line of sight, vanishing as I tried to focus in on them. We will write a custom essay sample on To Live, To Die or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page I felt dizzy as the room began to spin, and I shut my eyes in hopes that I wouldnt vomit. Pain stabbed my heart as I remembered why I had done this in the first place. I felt pinpricks of tears forming on my lower eyelid. I wasnt going to cry, I promised myself. I bit my lip, hoping pain would drive the sadness away. He didnt love me. It was as simple as that. Yet, it felt so complicated, so tangled, that it left me feeling muddled inside. Yetit barely seemed worth it, the way he had phrased it, as if me loving him was congruent to him being eaten alive by parasites. Why should I give him the satisfaction of my death? What had I thought, that it would please him? That it would make him regret and feel guilty? Sitting up, I fought the sudden ache in my head. Sadness turned to rage as I got up, and went to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I said to myself, I am going to live. And then, of course, I threw up.